I'm having a hard time moving on with my blog and posting pictures, but I don't want to look back at this time and not have any reminders of Macy and Eden and the stages they're in. So, 5 days after losing Sadie, I found myself trick or treating with the girls; taking pictures and watching their excitement as they got more candy then they know what to do with. It brings me joy watching them, but I still feel that emptiness without Sadie. I know that the holidays will feel the same way. All of these events we had planned for the next two months were planned around Sadie being here. I feel her absence continually.
The Lord has been so gracious to me as I grieve my baby. I feel like there's this door that He opens periodically allowing those hard times of grief and remembrance to come, then He closes it because He knows my heart can't handle staying in those places. A lot of times when I feel those moments coming, I go in Sadie's room and allow myself to cry and miss her. Then, I go back to Macy and Eden and tending to them. When I look back on these last two weeks, I can see His strength so clearly.
For Halloween this year, I encouraged the girls to just pick something out of their dress-up collection. We have so many options, it seemed silly to buy something new. My precious girls both decided to be Cinderella. Made my heart smile.
Listening to Daddy's instructions...
Eden was not so sure about the house with the smoke machine...
"My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life."
Psalm 119:50
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